Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
two words...techno handjob
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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