Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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