Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wish you could order shots online.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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