yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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