Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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