You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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