if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
