I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
