Banned from zoo.
Again?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
