i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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