Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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