I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize