In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
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