Define "chronic" masturbator.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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