This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
