What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He shit in the fireplace
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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