anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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