i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
