Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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