So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
