She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need a beard to bite.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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