so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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