im drinking this country out of the recession.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
