Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
