Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
