Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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