The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
