If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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