yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
