I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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