somebody snuck up and got me drunk
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
