what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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