Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
