It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
