This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it was like eating out sand paper
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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