3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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