Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
