so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
