Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
But break dance skills will only take you so far
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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