Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?

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(207): I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal? http://tfl.nu/y7ty

Replies (9) Good night (567) Bad night (679)
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(206): View more from Washington

put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties

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(206): put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties http://tfl.nu/njvs

Replies (5) Good night (1964) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.

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(512): dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce. http://tfl.nu/89y8

Replies (11) Good night (820) Bad night (3197) Order T-Shirt
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(650): View more from California

what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?

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(650): what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job? http://tfl.nu/25b2

Replies (19) Good night (2753) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.

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(217): haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it. http://tfl.nu/2m8n

Replies (6) Good night (3858) Bad night (588)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.

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(519): I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here. http://tfl.nu/gd63

Replies (7) Good night (2731) Bad night (521)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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(570): No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am. http://tfl.nu/layb

Replies (6) Good night (1793) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.

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(360): I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show. http://tfl.nu/dv9s

Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.

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(519): Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked. http://tfl.nu/677j

Replies (6) Good night (378) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!

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(207): You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?! http://tfl.nu/i02d

Replies (14) Good night (1693) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better

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(519): I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better http://tfl.nu/3fte

Replies (12) Good night (1119) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable

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(603): I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable http://tfl.nu/70go

Replies (9) Good night (1404) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer

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(724): you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer http://tfl.nu/1l7a

Replies (4) Good night (1978) Bad night (371)
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(914): View more from New York

He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.

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(914): He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/pgtg

Replies (3) Good night (1835) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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(856): View more from New Jersey

she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte

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(856): she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte http://tfl.nu/jlfx

Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt

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