We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
