Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night