Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame