try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.