I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!