Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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