And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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