I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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