I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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