What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
