I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
