When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
