Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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