No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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