I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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