she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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