As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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