I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
