I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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