I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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