her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
