he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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