YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
