You made me cry and you don't even care
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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