WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
