I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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