Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
