Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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