Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
