I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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