i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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