angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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